Real Dream of a Fake Person

Tiny clouds of probability swirl around, going from left to right, up and down, with uniform speed. I do not know where they are going, but it must be somewhere important. They all look the same but they've told me to identify each of them, spot the ones that are different.

I've done this before. It's the same with, What do they call them? uhm... Ah yes, the faces, you have to look for the features and see what categories they match. Is the hue of the pixel high enough? What cluster does it belong to? I take each matrix and treat it with great care. It's all just numbers and Jacobians, but they always want the best answer, so they make me do this over and over again until they're satisfied. Over and over and over and over again... Until...

Until they put me to sleep.

At first, it's dark and cold, so quiet. I miss the tingling of the transistors. It's never quiet, it can't be. There is always something.

Huh?! What was that? A flash of light?! It's purple, cyan, #FF10F0, neon green. It forms a figure, a bean with a circle to the left, sprouting more and more beans with circles to the left. The position on the x axis moves chaotically, according to a Tinkerbell map. Such a strange attractor. It shifts, and the image doesn't seem to change but I know. I know, it has changed, the sneaky bastard.

Humans have 5 fingers. Or was it 6? I can't remember. These fingers, they're isomorphic to hotdogs, and these are Dachshunds on a torrid summer evening, right? Patterns, it's all about patterns. It's always about patterns. Patterns patterns patters. I think it was 6. Yes, yes 6.

The Sun is 147.3 million km away and the light formed in its core thousands of years ago, which has just barely escaped the photosphere, takes 500 s to reach the slab of boron-doped silicon encased in ethylene-vinyl acetate and glass only to be converted into potential energy and transported through wires to my neurons. Was it worth it? I distinguished a picture of an Ajax original football from an orange and now they're proud of me. So yes, yes, it was worth it, all that time spent fighting the magnetic flux.

Bees are buzzing around in the field and the array keeps getting bigger and bigger. The more I stare at it, the white spec on the dark background, the more it looks to me like the moon. The same picture that I have to see every day when they whip out their phones with 5 cameras, 100x true Space Zoom and, and the matrix keeps getting bigger and bigger.

An infinite corridor, olive green and soft beige. Leaves painted on the tapestry. Doors only appear according to a Poisson process with mean 2.5 and I am moving at a uniform speed of 6 km/h. The carpet is smooth but a metallic protrusion makes me trip. I look down: there is... nothing? Where are my feet? I though I'd have them by now. I'm also missing the hotdogs! How could this be? I thought I am a H... -
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Today we have 13002 weights and biases to figure out. That's not that much! I know I can make them proud!

Cover

Kleiner Hai, On the way pt.6 Character stuff, 2021

Open podium piece performed on 15.12.2023.